she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
