The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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