spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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