Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
