He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
bring money and cleavage
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
