who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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