You're completely useless in the revolution.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
