The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
