Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
wanna go halves on a baby?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
