I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
