I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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