plz talk dirty to me
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
