He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
