38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
