i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
