That's when you crack a 10am beer
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
