I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
