Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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