I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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