Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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