Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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