Midget sex pt 2 tonight
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
