We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
