You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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