it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
