Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
