Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
i need some magic done to my vagina
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
