somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
