office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
