Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Damn victory sex feels great
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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