Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
