I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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