If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
