What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
she pinky promised me she was 18
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Everyone says I win the strip club
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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