opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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