ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
