Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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