I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
