He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
