every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
