so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
