I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
