Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
