He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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