guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
