Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
