Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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