Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
