Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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