There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
