The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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